Hypnosoul’s Blog

How it felt during the earthquake

This is a picture I found on a bus while I was in Singapore.  It, for me, summarized how I felt during the earthquake – shaken up and disoriented.  We, in Tokyo, are very blessed in that all that happened to us was this intense shaking.  Compared to the people in Northern part  of Japan , we are, indeed lucky.  However, this is not to minimize the emotional and mental trauma we all went through.

When the earthquake struck, none of us realized how serious it was.   Shaking is part of life in Tokyo (and most of Japan), and the most common topic of discussion is not the weather, but whether we felt the tremor that went through.  However, after this earthquake, things have become solemn and subdued.  Quite a few foreigners left soon after the earthquake and the nuclear plant situation has not helped either.  For those of us who have chosen to stay, we still feel a little ‘jolt to the heart’ every time a tremor or earthquake passes through.  None of us have reached the level of ease to joke about it as we did before March 11.  The aftershocks continued for a quite a while.  We still get them, but not as often, and not as strong.

My trip to Singapore was already planned for my school spring break.  After the earthquake, I had an opportunity to extend it a bit.  It was good for me, I now realize, that I needed this escape to heal. It was while I was there that I became aware of how much the events had affected me.  For the first two days, I felt the ground shaking (even though it was not) and by the third day I was much better.  On returning to Tokyo, I realized that a lot of people also felt that the earth was shaking, when it was not.  This made me aware of how much we had been affected emotionally and mentally.  It was at this point that I questioned my mortality in a profound way.

One of the consequences of questioning one’s mortality, I believe, is beginning to start looking at life lived so far and what has been accomplished.  A lot of people begin to question whether their life has been purposeful or fulfilling.  Some people often use the statement, “This is not where I thought I would be,” or “How did I get here?”  There are others who feel that they still have so much to accomplish.  In other words, we were all given a strong reminder that life can change suddenly and completely.  It is a scary situation to be in, I feel.  A lot of us go to bed expecting everything to be the same the next day and the day after.  Somewhere, at the back of our brains, we may know that life is in a constant change, but how many of us live our lives believing that?    Oliver Wendell Holmes said, “The human mind once stretched by new ideas never goes back to its original dimensions”.  So, for those of us who were  ’shaken’, an awareness settled into our being that ‘shook’ us out of our comfort zone, and we now realize that life can never be what it was.  

Talking to some  of the people, it seems that most regrets are based on things not done, roads not traveled, choices not made.  It is interesting that most of the people did not talk about what they have accomplished or already acquired.  This got me thinking about how our minds function.  At the end of any time, with the nature of life,  there will always be things not accomplished or acquired. What propels most people in this insatiable quest for just one more challenge, one more push, one more…?  So, how do we lead our lives so that these regrets are something we have made peace with?  Are they something we can make peace with?

Each day we are presented with choices, from small ones (like what to wear) to larger ones (like changing careers, homes).  Some people spend a lot of time weighing the consequences before deciding, others go with their ‘gut feelings’; some ask for advice and yet others just can not make a decision.  I believe that when choices are weighed and then made for the right reasons, it is easier for the heart and soul.  However, when choices are forced or made without taking personal stock, the person constantly ‘second guesses’ him/herself.  We all know people who are always cautious, who ‘play it safe’, who plan everything out, as well as people who throw caution ‘to the wind’ and just follow their hearts.  Where do you fall in this scale?  What regrets do you have?  What would you like to accomplish before your world is all ‘shaken up’?

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by things you didn’t do than  by the ones you did do.  So throw off the bowlines.  Sail away from the safe harbor.  Catch the trade winds in your sails.  Explore.  Dream.  Discover.”                M. Twain 

As some of  you may know, I have worked  toward my Masters in Holistic Nutrition as an on-line study programme.  While I am in Tokyo, I seem to have time to spend on assignments, courses and projects.  I was working on it slowly, taking my time with each course.  In August of last year (2010), I received notification that the college (Clayton College of Natural Health) had filed for bankruptcy after being in business for 35 years.  Before I applied for the programme, I researched a few schools.  CCNH seemed to have a solid programme and their graduates worked on big projects and some even authored books on natural health and holistic healing.  I liked their philosophy and applied.    Now, as I was nearing the end of my courses, CCNH has gone under.  There were several options – transfer to another institution that was willing to accept courses completed, take part in a ‘teach-out’ or just make a decision to  let it go.  I had about 6 courses left and I had paid all my fees.  I felt that going through a transfer to another institution would be too much work, so I applied for the teach-out.  My application was accepted, however the condition was that all my courses, assignments,  and requirements were to be completed by the  end of January 2011.  It turned out to be a challenge, but with help from friends and family, I was able to complete my courses just in time.  The courses are  all mailed  in and I now await confirmation that they are truly completed and that  my diploma is on its way.

As I  approached the deadline, they were days when I wondered whether it was all  worth it,  as the stress built, there moments when I was ready to let it all go, after all it was not my fault that the college went out of business.  It could have waited until my courses were complete (chuckle).  However, I am thankful that part of me kept remained steadfast in my quest for success.   That got me pondering -  so why is it important to us to see things through to completion?  Granted, the completion of  a diploma or certification is satisfying, but is it enough to keep us motivated?  It is ways interesting that some people are driven to completing everything they start, while others are not.  I have often encountered people who proclaim that they have worked on a project (house, work, etc.) for a few months or even years, but the project is still  unfinished.  As for me, I could not have a project ‘hanging’ for such a long time.  A lot of my energy, time and thoughts would be consumed by this unfinished task.  So, instead of constantly wasting energy thinking about it, I  would prefer to have it completed.  It gives a sense of relief and lightness and excitement that I now have time to start something new or embark on a new adventure.  It brings me to a place of quiet, like the picture I included at the top.

I believe that for something new to come in, there has to be a space created for it.  If my space it too bogged down with old issues, uncompleted projects and old energies, then how do I move into a fresh, new world?  How can I welcome a new adventure, a new project, a journey into my life, if it is being held down by old collections?  Any project or dream begins with a thought or an idea.  Success means taking that thought and turning it into action.  However, projects or assignments  come in many forms.  Some are easier to work towards, while others are more challenging.  For example,  it would be easier for me to work towards a degree than it would be to start a strict diet or exercise programme.  Others may find, dieting and exercising easier.  So, the question is – does it matter what is completed or what is not?  Does it matter whether the diet was successful or the degree was obtained?  How much does it matter?  How much difference would it make and what sacrifices are needed?  Perhaps in the case of dieting, health is at risk.  For some that would be enough of an incentive to begin, complete and change lifestyle.  Yes, even under the threat of ill-health, others can not find enough drive  to complete a lifestyle change.

So, what is drive?  Why are some motivated enough to become ‘movers and shakers, some others are inspired by these people, yet others carry on without a thought for change? For some, completion only occurs when, where they are is more uncomfortable than where they need to go.  Others are able to see how important change is and go there without being forced to.  There is a sense that unless one is proactive and makes conscious choices, choices are made for you.

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.
Anatole France

Life belongs to the living, and he who lives must be prepared for changes.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

During Sakura (cherry blossom) season in Tokyo

“A million happiness surround you” – This was written on a sign advertising its business in Hiroo, a community in Tokyo.  This reminded me of a picture I took during the cherry blossom season (above) earlier this year  and wondered how many other people would think of the cherry blossoms (especially when they floating down) as ‘blessings or  happiness’ being showered upon us?

Going back to the ad ‘A million happiness surround you’, I began to wonder – a million happiness, isn’t that interesting.  Why not a hundred or thousand?  Why a million?  So, I decided to try a little experiment with myself.  I began to think of all happiness that surrounds me at this very moment – I live in a safe country, I have a warm, comfortable roof over my head, I have a job, I am healthy enough to be able to do things by myself, I have had an opportunity to go to school and study for as long as I wanted, I have nutritious food and clean water – wow!  All this in just a few seconds, so if I kept going would I reach a million?  Hmmm…that would mean I would have to be able to count that high!

I came across the following quote:

Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it. – Groucho Marx

To me, this quote is another way of saying that a ‘million happiness surround you’.  Think about it, each of us can make ourselves happy or not.  We have the power to change our mind and with it our world.  It sounds so simple, yet for many of us, it is one of the most challenging things we attempt.  Could it be that we have become caught up in the feeling that if we are too happy, something bad will happen?  Or that, we would have to ‘pay for it later’?  Could we just be afraid to be happy?  Often people feel that if we are too happy, then there is nothing left to strive for.  Maybe, we just mistake happiness for goals?  Being happy is not synonymous to not having a goal or direction to move towards.  I believe that being happy gives us more passion and desire to work towards our goals; to lead a purposeful life.  If it is just as easy to be happy as it is not, why do we not choose it more often?

If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy, and inspires your hopes.
- Andrew Carnegie

Hopes

To think that four years later, I am still in Tokyo…who would have thought?  I find it very interesting that I accepted the job for only two years, four years ago and now have signed on for another two more…Do you ever wonder why we are where we are and what keeps us there?

I really enjoy being in Tokyo, although I find the language difficult to master.  Part of the problem is that I teach in an international school which is completely English.  I do not have Japanese friends per say, so do not get to practice the language very much.  The most I need it for is groceries or taking a cab.  The area of town I am in has Japanese people who speak enough English to help.  I continue to take lessons, hoping that it will happen and I shall be able to speak and understand enough to have a proper conversation.  I wonder if it is possible to make that kind of metamorphosis?  I came across the following quote that explains my hope for studying Japanese:

Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don’t give up.  Anne Lamott

This got me thinking – what makes one person ‘hang in there’ and another not?  How do we know when to let go?  We often hear of people who have ‘hoped against hope’ and stayed longer than necessary.  Conversely, there are people who feel that they let go too quickly.  Sometimes people stay because of fear – fear of the unknown, of what is out there, of change.  Other times, people stay because they don’t recognize when it is time to let go.  However, often, people stay because somewhere within their beings, they feel that they will  realize their dreams  and the change they are seeking is going allow them the metamorphosis they need.

The picture I have included in my blog is from one of the puzzles I worked on with my niece this summer.  She is almost nine and captivated by butterflies.  I wonder if the caterpillar knows that it is going to turn into a beautiful butterfly some day?  Does it ever want to be something else or just stay a caterpillar?  Perhaps it has a ‘knowing’ within its being, what we call ‘instinct’.  Perhaps ‘instinct’ is just complete trust in the process of life, a trust that allows it to be fully present in the moment, doing what it needs to do.

Is it possible for people to have that kind of trust?  That kind of ‘knowing’ that the best will happen?  Is it this ‘instinct’ that keeps some people on the path until they have achieved their goals?  Perhaps, some people think too much, try to prove themselves too much or second-guess themselves too much to allow this process to happen.   If we read  or listen to advice on setting and achieving goals, it usually states to imagine the goal as already achieved – to think it, feel it and be totally present in it.  I wonder if some of us spend so much time thinking and re-thinking situations, that we don’t arrive at that point where we have a clear, set goal to aim for.  Perhaps, some of us have lost touch with that ‘instinct feeling’ – the feeling that signals to us when things are ready to be released, when  we should hang on or just start over again.  Is it possible to get in touch with that feeling again?  I believe so, but this would mean being totally present in our bodies in the here and now.

Some quotes on ponder on:

The natural flights of the human mind are not from pleasure to pleasure but from hope to hope.  Samuel Johnson

Human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives. ~ William James (1842 – 1910)

Change your thoughts and you change your world.~ Norman Vincent Peale (1898 – 1993)

Ohigan Ceremony (Mar. 21)

When I walk to work, one of the routes goes by a cemetary.  This picture was taken just after March 21 (the first day of spring).  I was captivated by the fact that every grave had beautiful, fresh flowers.  According to a friend, March 21 is ‘Ohigan Ceremony’  -  the day when, according to the tradition here, the ancestors come to visit.  I do not know if every cemetary is filled with flowers like this one was, but this got me thinking.  When these people were alive, what were their goals, aspirations and desires?  Did they meet them?  What regrets did they have before moving on?  If they could, what would they do differently? If they were to communicate with their loved ones, what would they say was important?

Recently, when I was teaching botany to a group of students, we discussed seeds.  We talked about how every seed is produced with the full potential to become a complete plant.  All it needs is the right circumstances to complete its task.  However, an  acorn can only grow into an oak tree and be the best it can as an oak tree.  Similarly,  everyone one of us is born with the potential to become the ‘best we can be’ – I wonder how many of us ponder upon what this might be?

Potential energy, in physics, is ‘stored energy’ or the ‘ability to do work’ by any object.  When this ‘stored energy’ is used to do the work, it turns into kinetic energy, moving the object out of static state.  For example, when a rubber band is twisted – it builds up potential energy.  When the rubber band is released and it untwists, the potential energy becomes kinetic energy.  If human beings, like the seed, are born with all the potential to be, then what happens to this potential?  Is it a form of  energy as some believe?  Is it something that needs a trigger to release itself or does it happen naturally as we grow?  If human energy were to follow the laws the physics, then the potential energy would need some sort of trigger to release it to do work.  For some people, this is not difficult.  They are able to tap into their potential and use it to spring forward into an energetic life, filled with adventure.  Some people need a little ‘nudge’ and then they are off and running.  However, there some people who I shall call ‘the observers’.  They watch others spring into action, but do not seem to find the trigger to get their own lives moving.

I often wonder why some people are able to naturally release their potential, while others have such a hard time.  If we are all born with the same potential, then I would think that we are also equipped with the trigger.  From my understanding, when we feel ‘out of sorts’ or just not connected to the things around us, it is the universe’s or our higher self’s way of letting us know that we are not living up to our potential.  We can acknowledge this and find a way to move out of our comfort zone, towards our soul’s longing or ignore it.  If we ignore it, it eventually fades into the background.  Then, my question is:  Looking at the picture of the graveyard – how many songs remained unsung, journeys never travelled or adventures never experienced?  Would you not, rather be the one who forged ahead and lived a full life?  A purposeful, adventurous and challenging life?  What is gained by being safe all the time?

“The potential of the average person is like a huge ocean unsailed, a new continent unexplored, a world of possibilities waiting to be released and channeled toward some great good.” -Brian Tracy

“The only way to discover the limits of the possible is to go beyond them into the impossible.” -Arthur C Clarke

This picture was taken when I went to Xian last year.  It is the picture that felt right for my blog this month.

Valentine’s Day falls in February.   In so many parts of the world, there is a mad dash to get something for that someone special.  The shops are decorated in red with displays of ‘heart-shaped’ decorations.  So, I thought why not consider February as a ‘heart month’?  If we are thinking of love, why not check our own heart centers as well?  How healthy are we within our own hearts?  Do we celebrate ourselves and our victories of each day?

I feel it is often easy to forget our own ‘heart health’, not just physically, but also emotionally and spiritually.  Life has a tendency to become busy and there are so many things that ‘call to us’ or need to be completed.  If we have families, then there is looking after their necessities as well.  However, at the end of the day, if we are not healthy, how do we expect to help those we love and the ones around us?

Once someone asked a question, “Would you take advice from a doctor on the ill effects of smoking, if you found out that, that doctor was a smoker?”  It is always, in my opinion, easier to tell someone what or how to do something, than it is to apply it to ourselves.  When you tell someone you love him/her, are you also saying  you can love yourself as well?     Do we look in the mirror and say to ourselves, “I love you because you are me?”

I came across the following quote:

The nobler sort of man emphasizes the good qualities in others, and does not accentuate the bad. The inferior does the reverse. — Confucius.

To me it says, ‘When you love someone you bring out the best in each other.”  So, if we love ourselves, do we bring out the best in ourselves?