Hopes
To think that four years later, I am still in Tokyo…who would have thought? I find it very interesting that I accepted the job for only two years, four years ago and now have signed on for another two more…Do you ever wonder why we are where we are and what keeps us there?
I really enjoy being in Tokyo, although I find the language difficult to master. Part of the problem is that I teach in an international school which is completely English. I do not have Japanese friends per say, so do not get to practice the language very much. The most I need it for is groceries or taking a cab. The area of town I am in has Japanese people who speak enough English to help. I continue to take lessons, hoping that it will happen and I shall be able to speak and understand enough to have a proper conversation. I wonder if it is possible to make that kind of metamorphosis? I came across the following quote that explains my hope for studying Japanese:
Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don’t give up. Anne Lamott
This got me thinking – what makes one person ‘hang in there’ and another not? How do we know when to let go? We often hear of people who have ‘hoped against hope’ and stayed longer than necessary. Conversely, there are people who feel that they let go too quickly. Sometimes people stay because of fear – fear of the unknown, of what is out there, of change. Other times, people stay because they don’t recognize when it is time to let go. However, often, people stay because somewhere within their beings, they feel that they will realize their dreams and the change they are seeking is going allow them the metamorphosis they need.
The picture I have included in my blog is from one of the puzzles I worked on with my niece this summer. She is almost nine and captivated by butterflies. I wonder if the caterpillar knows that it is going to turn into a beautiful butterfly some day? Does it ever want to be something else or just stay a caterpillar? Perhaps it has a ‘knowing’ within its being, what we call ‘instinct’. Perhaps ‘instinct’ is just complete trust in the process of life, a trust that allows it to be fully present in the moment, doing what it needs to do.
Is it possible for people to have that kind of trust? That kind of ‘knowing’ that the best will happen? Is it this ‘instinct’ that keeps some people on the path until they have achieved their goals? Perhaps, some people think too much, try to prove themselves too much or second-guess themselves too much to allow this process to happen. If we read or listen to advice on setting and achieving goals, it usually states to imagine the goal as already achieved – to think it, feel it and be totally present in it. I wonder if some of us spend so much time thinking and re-thinking situations, that we don’t arrive at that point where we have a clear, set goal to aim for. Perhaps, some of us have lost touch with that ‘instinct feeling’ – the feeling that signals to us when things are ready to be released, when we should hang on or just start over again. Is it possible to get in touch with that feeling again? I believe so, but this would mean being totally present in our bodies in the here and now.
Some quotes on ponder on:
The natural flights of the human mind are not from pleasure to pleasure but from hope to hope. Samuel Johnson
Human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives. ~ William James (1842 – 1910)
Change your thoughts and you change your world.~ Norman Vincent Peale (1898 – 1993)
